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Sunday, June 26, 2011

Becoming A Domestic Goodwife: My Mid-Life Crisis

Our family has been un-OR-under/employed for nearly a year. Totality of the unemployment rooted its ugly head in February with exception to the little bit of substitute teaching DG has been able to garner that has helped to purchase groceries, gas, etc. By all accounts, I'm living in a crisis: This is my mid-life crisis. It will be the only one I will embrace and in turn grow from with its sufferings and experiences. It's not fun being broke. Keep in mind that not everyone qualifies for unemployment or even state aid - so broke we must pass through as we journey to a better day. It's not enjoyable seeking assistance from family and the community. It is humbling and educating. It is a period of mourning and attempting not to encroach others as well as being an encourager to those in my home. Moving forward is the goal. Employment is needed for both myself and my husband, summer employment between school years for DG and AJS would be a blessing too.


Moving Forward: I am for hire. I am an administrative assistant / debtor bankruptcy paralegal seeking employment in any legitimate field for any respectable job. I'll take a long-term job, a short-term job, a temporary job, a part-time job, contract work, etc. I will work. In the meantime, I pray my spouse and children will have the desire and the fortitude to move forward and conquer the self-defeat of down times to find work and hold gainful employment.


I cannot change the economy nor can I motivate or change the people around me. What I can change is my attitude, my altitude, and myself. If it is going to be, it is going to be up to my Lord and me. What can I do? I can continue to embrace this newfound domestic lifestyle, frugal, lifestyle. I can commit to my Lord my time, my energy, and my talents. I can volunteer. I can continue to seek employment. I can pray. I can wait upon my Lord. I can find strength in his Word. I can be humble and I can wait for, in His time, the storms of life to change as I wait on Him until He will billow me toward higher sailing.


So I cry, I write, I cry some more, I cook, I cry, I write some more, I clean, I cry out to God, I listen to music, I sing, I pray and I look for work. I spend time with family and friends. I read my Bible. I worship and fellowship and will volunteer.


I must also begin working again on this temple that the Holy Spirit resides inside, as it isn't too fit. Health issues are a burden in everyday activities so I must continue to tame the high blood pressure and work on life-style adjustments to treat the rheumatoid arthritis and hbp. I've been encouraged by family to seek disability but I just do not yet feel like that it what the Lord wants of me. I am still able, I am willing and I want to work but some days my body is just slow. I struggle. I know I need to work, I want to work. What's a girl to do? Lord speak to me.


I am a vessel. I am in the potter's hands being molded. I am being taught to trust, to be humble, to bow before Him, to seek Him, to respect Him, to Honor Him, to glorify Him in ALL things, ALL trials, ALL circumstances. I am being taught the fine line between being in the between: in between my heavenly home and this old world, intrinsically being in between adult child, wife, mother and grandmother, and the in between of growing in Christ (putting off the old and embracing the new).


Becoming a Domestic Goodwife isn't too bad of a spot to be in a mid-life crisis if you engage it and run with it. I am having the best time in the kitchen teaching myself to cook. I am enjoying the light cleaning, the homemaking and the time with my kids that are still at home.


Hopes and dreams do not die with change of circumstance nor should they be cast to the wayside. Don't live in denial of the present trial but embrace it, move forward, work through it, conquer it and in the meantime look for the sunny side of life and climb up. Pray for others, volunteer, be productive, use your hands and your mind and if I did not stress it, again, continue to pray and stay in the Word.


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Keep On The Sunny Side,
Always On The Sunny Side.
Keep On The Sunny Side Of Life.
It Will Help Us Every Day,
It Will Brighten All The Way
If We Keep On The Sunny Side Of Life.
-- Ada Blenkhorn (1899)

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